Your Hipster Girlfriend- A Bad Haiku

vinyl-records2

I saw your girlfriend.
The tiny girl in flannel,
the art school drop out

in her skinny jeans
and fake, thick-rimmed black glasses.
You picked a winner.

Do you enjoy her
vinyl collection of bands
no one even knows?

Does she make you feel
like you’re her folk-acoustic
idol or her muse?

She looks like she would
fall asleep to Bon Iver
and cry after sex.

I don’t want to ask,
Does she ever make you feel?
Please don’t answer that.

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Poems and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Your Hipster Girlfriend- A Bad Haiku

  1. redgladiola says:

    I love the bitter, defensive tone of this poem and how the actual hurt underneath it peeks out in the last stanza. Vulnerable and full of feeling. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. inkposts says:

    I like this but I felt like you could have added a bit more to really finish it, (which is unusual as usually what poem needs is less!). Good stuff nonetheless.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. i like this, i love to be able to feel the hate

    Like

  4. Vaughn says:

    Might I ask, what exactly is it you are attempting to do with your poems? What’s your goal?

    Like

  5. Vaughn says:

    In that case: this poem seems sort of outdated, don’t you think? It seems to be beating a long-dead horse.

    Like

  6. Vaughn says:

    Understandable. It just seems like you went down the list of hipster clichés, checked off every box, and called it a poem. Not to be harsh, but it really brings nothing new or original, and it seems juvenile.

    Like

    • Well, I did want feedback, and that’s definitely feedback. I can’t argue that I used hipster stereotypes and simple emotions, but that is actually what I wanted. Something that was kind of immature and simple- to reflect how I, and how I assume other people feel, in the wake of a break-up. Being bitter, and mean, but not too terribly mature or intelligent. I did, after all, title it a “bad haiku.”

      If you prefer reading things that are more lyrical and with more depth to the, have you looked at “Hospice Eyes” or “Cracker Jacks?” I’d be interested in your thoughts on those.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s